Frequently Kept Secrets

Places:

Every kid has their sacred spaces.

  • I loved to hide in our blanket closet. It was just my size and the perfect place to go after declaring that I was running away. I was the youngest of nine kids so usually no one would notice when I went missing but one time I fell asleep and when I woke up, the police were at my house looking for me!

  • Many of my books have trampolines. There aren’t many adults who like to jump on trampolines. This means the space is usually kid territory. I loved playing games on the tramp, jumping through the sprinkler on the tramp, and sleeping on the tramp. One time my sister and I convinced our brother Dan to sleep out with us. We got up early and went inside. Dan woke up a few hours later covered in snow.

  • My room was always a mess but it was my mess and I loved it. It was so messy that when Halloween came around, I’d close my eyes, spin around and throw handfuls of candy. This guaranteed I’d be finding tootsie rolls and peanut butter cups for weeks.

Pranks: 

I would never ever pull a prank on anyone, ever.

    1. Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it.

    2. I work for the bubble factory. We make bubbles and bubbles and bubbles and bubble and bubbles.

    3. Is Mr. Wall there? How about Mrs. Wall? Then how is your house still standing?

  • One time my friend and I filled my sister’s giant water bottle with Pace Picante sauce and salsa. Then we set it in her usual spot and waited. When the time was right, I asked her if could have a sip. “Nope,” she said and then took a big old gul herself.

    1. Toothpaste in oreos

    2. Saran wrap on toilets

    3. Announcing we’re moving to all my friends

Candy:

I love candy

  • Chocolate Covered Cinnamon Bears, Big Hunks, Atomic Fireballs, Lemonheads, Red Vines, Gobstoppers, Nerds (not too many and only in the original two flavor box), Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, Tootsie Pops, Sour Haribo Gummy Bears, Whatchamacallit, 100 Grand

  • Idaho Spud, Boston Baked Beans, chocolate licorice, circus peanuts, Cookies and Cream Hershey’s, Tropical Starburst, Warheads, Jelly Beans, Butterscotch hard candies, candy sports gel, Lik’m’aid, Good n’ Plent

    1. Sucker in hair

    2. Gum in hair

    3. Laffy Taffy in hair

    4. Chocolate Covered Cinnamon Bear extracting my tooth

    5. Jaw Breaker raw tongue

  • Jelly Bellies were invented the year before I was born. Whatchamacallits were invented the year after. Guess what year I was born